Toys + Laws of Physics meets toddler.. It's like oil & water.

Sometimes I wonder why I buy certain toys for my son... I usually try to pick something that is some bit educational... You know the usual books, flash cards.. teddies with flaps and crinkly bits and then there's those things with buttons. You know, the ones that make noise constantly... even when your child ISN'T playing with them so they get your child's attention and get the child to play with them again and press the same buttons over and over and over again... while u sit there praying for the day the batteries die & they get fed up with it and it gets abandoned somewhere... Then one day (after enough time has passed for you to forget how annoying thing toy was) you come across it and u think to yourself  'awh he loved playing with that, i better get some fresh batteries'  and the circle of life begins again. Then sometimes you're the clever mammy or daddy and you come across a toy that is a bit educational but more importantly it hasn't any buttons or noisy bits... Plus it ain't too expensive either... It's almost the perfect toy.. (of course it's all lies though, it's never that simple is it?)

Take for example this set of cars I got in the early learning centre, 3 cars, different colours and different types of car.. all with googly eyes that make them look cute... who can resist a googly eye, eh? Not me, that's for sure...


But these cars aren't just your average toy car.. these ones have magnets.. So we have nice size - not too big or too small, no sharp bits to hurt bare feet,  kinda cute, NO BUTTONS and it's a bit educational - with the magnets & all that...2 per car, one @ each end on little 'tails' so that when you put the cars lined up front to back they link together in a chain and form a train... So most of us have heard opposites attract and that's how the magnet works... North to south stick together. North to north repel each other & blah-de-blah-blah... (Well this is the basics of magnet trickery that you learn in skool,  not sure when but it got shoved in there at some stage... )


My son is just about to turn two and he LOVES these lil cars lately... but it's a rocky relationship. Everything is fine and dandy when they do what he wants... in other words when he's using them correctly... Unfortunately, as most kids do.. he likes to shake things up and think outta the box... I can see it in his face, he's thinkin why should he line them up the right way round (front to back) when he can put them back to back or face to face... (usually face to face though.. which is better cos the other way is just like a pair of courting dogs after the deed is done and they're left there lookin all embarrassed.. and well..stuck)

What he doesn't know though is that he can't make that work. Why? Well, cos physics says so.. that's why.. They won't stick together... the little tail thingys just wriggle away from each other... First, he starts off holding them in mid air, slowly trying to get them to connect (slowly because he hasn't lost his patience yet... cos you know the way 2yr olds have loads of that stuff)... I admire the look of determination and the  concentration on his face is hilarious, frowning eyebrows and pouted lips... he looks like he's carrying out open heart surgery..

I've tried to intervene @ this stage to make sure the iddy biddy bit of patience he has doesn't disintegrate entirely. I've tried putting them the right way & saying 'Look it works! wow!' and drive em around a bit.. then putting them the wrong way 'oops not sticking :( silly mommy '... but it seems that to try & explain how magnets work to a 2yr old is as impossible as the quest he is setting out for himself and so he persists...i keep my distance... which is basically outside of the toy flying radius (TFR) - this is also based on physics... Here's my formula :

                                              size + weight + aerodynamic anatomy of toy 
                                                              Temper level of child                          = TFR

Anyway, next they're placed on the floor... He needs free hands for this cos now he is goin right to the point and catchin the 'tails' to try and connect em that way but of course they just swivel around like there's a little invisible marble between them... There's a grunt.
Basically that's the signal letting you know that patience levels are eating into the reserves... Only thing is, the indicator needle is broken on my lil fella's reader and that signal is already way too late. Reserves are gone and he's runnin on fumes.. the cars are being bashed off one another as hard and as fast as his little arms can go... *SMASH!! BANG!! WALLOP!!!* he's roarin and screamin like a banshee....Next thing - OUCH!!!!! As usual, I always underestimate how far he can throw things... that's my formula out the window.

Guess he gets his understanding of phyics from me then... and i'm off to bed now, Goodnight ^_^

Dog + Cat + Kittens + Tot = Spontanious Internal Combustion of mommy's brain

This little event happened last week... Can't remember what day but I do remember what i was doing before it began... I was reading this lovely lady's blog, you should read it, she's hilarious... Amber is so hilarious in fact that she is currently a nominee for Parents Best Funniest Mom Blog 2011 if you like her stuff you can vote for her here.. Anyways I was reading her blog about how her feelings & attitude towards her beloved cats have changed since mommyhood became her way of life... No sooner had i read it and all this happened...

Scene 1: sitting room... where the story begins.
Me (the mom)- reading Amber's posts on the net. Having a few chuckles here & there..
Cillian (the almost 2yr old aka my son) - messing with milk from the last of his cereal, milk ends up all down his front. Oh well...no use crying over spilt milk right? Off momma goes to get clean clothes.

Scene 2 : Spare room aka Cillian's room (eventually... once he's out of the cot) aka where we throw the clean laundry & where it waits to be ironed or picked from... usually the latter comes 1st... {side note:Jingles (the cat) had kittens about 4 to 6 weeks ago, god knows where but she brought them home about a week & a half ago - now they 'live' under the bed in the spare room ...}
So I go into the spareroom to get clean clothes from 'The Pile'.. Cillian follows me in with Sox (the dog) in tow ( he must have him let in via the sitting room window..again) 

So we have :-
1 x Terrier cross (originally bred for finding & killing little furry things in hidey holes)... 
2 x 3.5week old Kittens (aka little furry things) in their 'hidey hole' under the bed.
plus 1 x mama cat.. 
Add to that -  me chasing Cillian around the room trying to get a top on over his (a bit bigger than average - yay genetics) head... 

The dog/cat/kitten scenario hasn't even dawned on me yet until I'm trying to get Cillian out of the cat's food when I see a set of claws striking from under the bed in Sox's direction - He yelps - I freak at the fact that 'F**K he could have got to the babies!!'.. & i start yelling at him to get out whilst informing him that its his own fault while he's looking very sorry for himself altogether... eventually he gets out of the room (after crawling at snails pace to get there).. Tail betwixt his legs.
I take a breather.. Cillian's still at the cat food so I bring him out to dress him in the sitting room.. as I walk out I notice a trail on the floor... Sox blood..(don't worry he's not bleeding to death its only a scratch)... She obviously got him.. 
*Feeling a bit sorry for Sox right now - but it fades quickly* 
Why, you ask.. well the plot thickens here -  
I go to get him from under the kitchen table but his speed restriction has disappeared & he runs out from under the table into the sitting room... & the trail continues (it's like a gorey twist on Hansel & Gretel) So I follow him.. he's behind the couch - I try to grab him, he takes off out the other side, back out of the room under the table...
Note Fa lala lala lala follow the red drip road Note ...
I try to catch him again *miss* he runs out.. around me.. I spin around to follow him in a circle back under the table.. I end up doing this 2 more times.. his ear is still bleeding... its starting to look like a murder scene & at this stage I'm starting to think that that's exactly what it's going to become in about 2seconds.. but just before I completely SNAP I catch him *by the tail - I didn't mean to but none-the-less I'm not letting go*.. I pull him out (he resembles yer one in the movie 'Drag Me To Hell'... you know the bit when like..she's being dragged to hell) & I put him back out the window... 
Drips of blood everywhere... I mop it up...Cillian's still not dressed so I go into the sitting room to finish what I was initially was doing.... but he's not in there when I go in... instead he comes in after me with one of the kittens.. by the tail.. I say 'No! put it down'.. kitten gets flung *spinning like a ninja throwing star* onto the floor with a thud... my heart stops.. Cillian is crying in hysterics -... I pick up the kitten - she's fine, thank god!.. She goes back in with her mom and Cillian is put in the naughty corner where he continues to cry hysterically and for added effect he throws in some angry screams .. Then the car passes the window... Daddy's home... I think I actually imploded at that point.

Eventually Cillian calmed down... Probably around the exact time Daddy walked in the sitting room door... Oh all over & forgotten about @ the sight of Daddy.. as per fecking usual?!?! I'm just the horrible Mammy person in the background extinguishing the smoke oozing from her ears... I then shared my fresh off the press experience with Amber and she thought I should start a blog too and share stuff with you.. So you can blame her if you think I'm just awful.

Anyway enough for now... Mind yer selves... bye!

My first blog - Yay.. a milestone.

Hi everyone,
(well anyone who might actually be reading this which is possibly very few or even closer to none..oh well)
This is my very 1st blog...
Welcome!!!
*insert sarky enthusiastic gesture here eg. 'Jazz Hands'*

This is just kinda to let you know that you should take no notice to the way i write/speak. I use a mix of 'txt talk' & actual english.. It's not because I'm incapable of spelling properly.
It's actually due to the following:
A.when u use it in a txt you use less character space thus limiting message size/the length of the message as instead of it being say 2msgs long you can squash it into one by leaving a vowel out here & there or using 8 for words which have an 'ate' sound in them .This means it uses less credit (ooh economics)
B.its faster
& C. I'm used to using it - but I do not hand write it - that's just ridiculous. I also cudn't be arsed typing it all properly and i like to mix it up in such a way as most ppl can understand it w/o having to tilt their head to one side or use a code-breaker. I used to mix Irish & French up together when speaking them for the leaving cert - why? i dno it's hard enuf doin English speak w/o throwing in other languages on top of it.

As for my grammar & punctuation... I don't capitalise my 'i's all the time - why? cos i'm not a journalist or writing a book (you wudn't think it by the way I'm goin on but hows ever) so i feel there's no need for perfection.


I love full stops... makes it look like you're thinking about what to say next.. which is usually what i am actually doing cos words don't flow thru my brain like a babbling brook.. it's more like a kitchen tap that you turned on after a 2week holiday - blasting and spluttering out water cos there's an airlock sumwhere as it was switched off for so long.

I use 'and' and '&' why? - idk sometimes i like to use my finger acrobatic skills to press 'shift' and '7' buttons to make the '&' other times it's just like 'meh!... I've 'and' written now i'm not deleting it'.

I use punctuation where i shouldn't and forget to use it when it's ment to be used but shur who cares - I'm past the homework stage of my life now and I don't have a career in writing.. Yes you may think i'm single-handidly murdering the english language but honestly 'Am I bovvered??' - no... It's not my language and those who do own it are murdering it just fine by themselves w/o my help lol - the language which is meant to be mine is dying.. it's actually standing there looking @ the white light & debating with itself trying to decide whether or not to go in.. whatever way it makes it's mind up I'm not gonna be loosing sleep over it either I could never get my head around any of it anyway...

Anyhow - I'm finished talkin shite so i'm goin now, Au revoir agus sláinte. <- look I even put in the fáda :P